Lately I just can't work. I don't know what to do. I love to draw and sketch but for some reason none of them turn out well anymore. What's wrong with me? I don't get it. Also, I've wanted to further my exploration in photography but I can't seem to find anything worth taking photos of. I mean my friends I never get to see so that out and I can't leave my house because my family is sick. I can't do this anymore. I have all these ideas in my head but I can't express them. I hate this :/ I give up...

Okay so life purdy much blows. I hate this. Fucking teachers and parents trying to tell me that what I feel is wrong, well what the hell do they know? Whats the point anyways? You go to school only to go on to college only to go on to some dumbass job... but in the end does any of it matter? NO! I see no point in going to school to learn about a bunch of dead guys when all I wanna do is skate. This is pointless. I don't need to know what old dead white guy said in some date like two billion years ago to coach a hockey team. I know that sport backwards and forwards. I know practically everything about that sport, but I have to know some random foreign language? I don't get it, maybe I'm a dip shit but really I see no point in this.

Christmas this year... it seems so wrong. I don't know how else to say it so I guess "wrong" will have to do. I mean, just two little months ago I was stuck in St. Mary's only thinking about getting my life back and already its Christmas? When my friends and family asked me for my wish list I didn't know what to say. I have a wish list, yes but these wishes can't be bought at a store and wrapped in a box. I wish for so many thigs but these things aren't objects that one can simply buy. When I was younger I always wished on stars and birthday candles and now I'm starting to wish like that again. Its wierd. I feel so inmature but I feel I must get better somehow and this might be the only way. I don't know what to do anymore. I just wish I knew what to do.

Hello all!

This is Shannon, DUH! Ok so me in three words: hockey, friends, and music. Yup, that’s it, nah that’s me in simple words. But really I’m very complex. Some call me “emo”, but I’m not. I am bipolar, along with a very long list of other things. I recently got out of St. Mary’s psych ward. I was there for what seemed to be forever but what was only eight days. Since then I’ve become a lot closer with my dad and I’ve completely blocked out my bitch mom. I haven’t talked or seen both my brother and sister since way before I was admitted in the hospital. Anyways, I love hockey, I’ve been going to Sharks games since I was two years old. The San Jose Sharks are my favorite team, with the Colorado Avalanche very close behind. And I absolutely despise the Edmonton Oilers. I love music; it’s what keeps me calm. I love everything from jazz to hip-hop, country to some rap. No matter what I’m doing I always have some music playing in the back of my mind. I love my friends; they keep me from being stupid and they support me through my rough times. I don’t have many friends, but the friends I have I wouldn’t trade for the world. My best friends include Kayla, Eric, Ian, Nick, David Jr., Danny, Jonathon, Michael, Cody, Doreen, Torrie, Sarah, Stacy, Alyssa, Zach, Madison, Kody, Chad, and some others. Some people say I’m a whore, bitch, slut etc. but if you really knew me you’d know I’m not like that. Yea, I have done some things in the past I’m not proud of. Yea, I’ve made mistakes. And yea, I wasn’t always the greatest person or friend. But I have changed and I have learned from my past. In the past I had betrayed my friends’ trust. In the past I’d let guys do what ever they wanted. In the past I was a loud bitch to everyone and I didn’t give a damn what people said or thought. Well people, let me just say, I am loyal now, I have limits now, I’m loud but within reason, and I care now. In the past I was immature, a loud mouth, I simply couldn’t be trusted. Now I’m older and much wiser, just ask Eric or Kayla, I have changed. Right now I don’t have the best grades but I’m usually a fairly good student. I love english and math; they are my favorite subjects in school. I’m actually not that bad at writing even though I have dyslexia. I love writing poetry, it helps me express myself and relieve a ton of stress. I also am quite a bookworm though I may not look like it. I love just getting lost in a story and escaping reality for a brief period of time. I like math a lot; it’s something I can understand fairly quickly. Some say I’m cute, some say I’m ugly, I really don’t care what I am as long as I am nothing but myself. I do swear a lot, though I’m trying to cut down on it. I actually can be a very sweet sensitive girl but usually I’m embarrassed to show that side of me. I’m kind of known for being aggressive and I must say that sadly I get that from my dad. It’s hard to grow up being hit and then have to not learn to be that way from your parents, so yes I can be aggressive but if I am I usually don’t mean to be. I say, “I’m sorry” a lot because I hate making people mad at me. I have trouble handling a lot of stress so I have panic attacks quite often. I’m very random, for example, one of my friends and I will randomly start yelling “pudding” when it gets too quite. I like to have fun no matter what. I like to sneak out my window at night to go for walks in the dead of night. I despise make-up; I think it has no purpose other than to waste your money. I don’t care about what my hair looks like or if my shirt and jeans match; I wear whatever is closest to me in my closet. I hate being labeled and I hate fakes. If there is one thing that you need to be around me it’s be yourself, don’t act differently around me, I’m just another person. I love words like epic, exotic, wowzers, shiznap, bizatch etc. Okay, that’s all I’m going to say for now… bye.